I just have to kill the expectations to turn it into hope. I don’t want to feed your captivation in me with a poison. The expectations are becoming driving force which is very false. Do not make me your engine. If I will allow you then I am feeding my vanity with that. Don’t you realize I can use you? And to say that I can use you is selfishness not in my part. I speak out and entertain to win people for God. I speak out to you not to create a fan’s club but for you to build up relationship to Him. Stop looking at me that way. It feels so good that you adore me but this is false! This is a deceit. I can’t let the devil in me use you. I will never take advantage. Telling you to stop can prove a specific answer.
I want you to be still and keep moving. Search His words, discover what he has in stored for you by not, not, not just looking at ME. Do not think you are vulnerable. We are. We have the same fight but different battle field. This will be very hard then. There will be a lot of pressures especially because of the sweet doves around. You will ask the why can they have each other while you can’t have yours and just waiting in deadly vain.
Our future as couple is very very blurred. I can’t see it. Why? It is too far for my 50mega pixel lenses. I guess because it is millions of distance away. I think there is really no precise assurance in this terrible “world”. Set your heart and eyes to Him, to Him, to Him and I assure you, you will be consumed with Love.
Forever and ever friend,
If I will love, I want you to be the reason not what you do and say. :-P